I have to admit, I was a little worried about sharing my health story on here. I mean really, would people that normally visit this blog for Old Navy codes and Michael’s coupons really care about my internal struggles?
But you do. And I’m humbled.
I’ve always been passionate about mentoring others; not because I claim to know everything (or anything at all), but because I believe God gives us information to pass on – not keep to ourselves. It’s my belief that my own transparency will challenge others and move them to make decisions they might not otherwise have considered. That same sentiment holds true today: I don’t know really know why this is all happening or even what to do tomorrow, but I know that in my sharing, I will learn so much from each of you in the process.
That, and the fact that I hate to talk on the phone, so writing in the anonymity of my home seemed like a better option 🙂
Because so many of you have been such faithful friends in the first leg of this journey, I wanted to keep you updated on my progress, or rather, this process.
Another day brought yet another doctor into the mix- Dr. Forbes from Nashville Integrated Medicine. Because of my complicated health history, I wanted to find an M.D. that would be focused on my current issue without being so tunnel-visioned that they failed to recognize the path that brought me here. Not only is Dr. Forbes an M.D., but is also president of the American Holistic Medical Association, so I felt confident that he would bring the perfect balance of Eastern & Western medicine to my situation. That, and his office was willing to work me in so quickly 🙂
Unfortunately, neither of the previous doctor’s offices I’ve been working with followed through and faxed my reports/labs to Dr. Forbes, so I started out at a slight disadvantage. However, even without getting to look at my labs, he agreed that the difference between Hashimoto’s and Lymphoma is VAST and something not to be toyed with. He said that in order to truly assess my situation, they’d need to collect more tissue samples meaning – you guessed it – a second biopsy.
Luckily (if you can use that word in this situation), we found another Endocrinologist who specializes in Thyroid issues who also comes highly recommended that can perform the procedure at 1pm tomorrow.
But back to my hours spent at the doctor today.
Regardless of what this mass turns out to be, Dr. Forbes agrees there is a pattern in my life that has to stop. He did draw blood to see if my TSH levels have changed over the past 6 weeks on the new medicine. He also put me on an elimination diet – meaning no gluten, no sugar, no dairy, no caffeine, no corn syrup and limited meat – at least until further notice.
Yes, for those of you keeping score at home, that means no birthday cake. As I’m about to leave for the Savvy Blogging Summit in Colorado on Thursday and just days before my birthday, I’m put back on an eating plan that seems almost impossible, much less considering my upcoming week (insert sad, puppy dog eyes here).
As I left today, I actually thought to myself, “That’s ok, I’ll just start the diet after my birthday.” But no sooner did I think that then I realized that it was exactly that kind of thinking that probably led me to this point.
There is never a good time to change…and change is never easy, but it is necessary.
Perhaps more than anything else today, I learned one very important lesson from Dr. Forbes: I have to be content with being, not doing.
Even though we were together less than two hours, he recognized that I have a to-do list that I will never be able to complete. What he meant by that was that I’m a “Creative Refiner” – I will never be at a loss for ideas or activities for as long as I live. So instead of being haunted by this never-ending push to ‘do’, I should find solace in the fact that my ‘to-do’ list will never end and as a result, should stop feeling guilty for not ever being able to complete it.
Needless to say, I’ll be doing a lot of ‘being’ over the coming days and weeks…as well as a lot of thinking.
On the way home, I heard three songs in a row that had such an impact on me:
*”Let it Go” by Francesca Batistelli
*”Stronger” by Mandisa
*”All Along” by Remedy Drive
It was like my own personal “You can beat this” mix tape! (Yes, I said mix tape. I still have a bunch of awesome one’s in my garage if anyone can give me advice on how to convert them to a format that would actually allow me to listen to those great 90’s tunes again!)
So here I am again – tired at the end of the day, yet unable to sleep because of all that is running through my mind. I know that many have traveled this road before me, and many will likely follow. But I hope that because I’m willing to share my journey, others will benefit in their own.