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how to love when you don't feel like it

How to love when you don’t feel like it…


It’s what February is all about, right?

But what about those of us that don’t have love in our lives?

Or worse yet, what if we love deeply, but get hurt by that love?

Perhaps we’ve reached the point where we simply just don’t feel very loving anymore.

What then?

I can tell you from first-hand experience, I found myself in this very place last February.

I’d just learned some devastating news from my husband, the day after Valentine’s Day in fact. How ironic to go from a day that celebrates love directly into a whirlwind of emotions that seemed to laugh in the face of love?

How is it possible that in one simple moment, everything you once thought you knew about love can be carelessly ripped away from you?

And yet it happens. (Probably more often than us Christians would like to admit…)

So what to do, not if, but when ‘it’ happens.

When the tragedy knocks on our door…

When the doubt creeps in…

When we just become too tired to keep on keeping on…

We love.

But not in a Hallmark card sort of way. No ma’am. We love in a Jesus dying on the cross kind of way.

God never promised love would be easy.

He never promised love would be consistent without ebbs and flows.

And He certainly never promised that we’d figure it out this side of heaven.

Can I get an ‘Amen’?

What God did promise is
* “I will love you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV)
* “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19)
* and ultimately “All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 MSG)

And though we may never fully comprehend the how, why or what of the word ‘love’, we can rest assured that nothing we are facing is outside of the reach of our all-mighty, all-knowing, all-seeing Heavenly Father.

When we don’t know, we trust.
When we don’t feel, we pray.
And when we grieve, we go to the feet of the one who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins.

Believe me, I was in that place just a year ago. I questioned. I cried. I fell silent. But ultimately I realized one very important truth: It could just as easily have been me.

We are all sinners saved by grace and the moment we believe we are above such actions is the very moment the enemy will attack.

I’ll confess, it has not been an easy road these past 12 months…and the road is far from over. But it’s OUR road. Where my husband and I were once strangers, we are now walking hand in hand towards the same goal, working hard every minute of the way.

We made a commitment: to God, to each other, and now to our children. We have both repented of not only our sins, but perhaps equally important, of our lack of attention to the direction our marriage was headed.

While none of us are perfect, we serve a God who is, and we were made in His image (Gen 1:27).

So for those of you who don’t feel loved or have lost your will to love this month, I encourage you to go back to the source of all love. Love is not a feeling, it’s an action. Too many of us assume love is an entitlement when it is actually a calling.

Are you ready to answer that call?