Parenting Adult Children – The job is not over!

by Sami

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graduation-familyAt church yesterday, we celebrated the seniors who were graduating from high school and taking their next step into adulthood. For those of you who have children that are also celebrating this milestone, remember this: your kids may be moving out of your house, but that does not mean your job as a parent is over!

In fact, you will now begin a new parenting journey that is rarely discussed and comes with its own set of rules. We focus so much of our energy on raising our children for the first 18 years of their lives, but we will actually (& hopefully!) spend more time as parents of our children while they are adults.

Catherine Hickem, Founder of Intentional Moms, just wrote a newsletter on this very topic that I think is important for everyone to read, whether you are the parent of an adult child, or you’re an adult child yourself (and you can forward it on to your parents!):

Too many times in my life I’ve heard parents complain about their child’s pending departure. “I can’t wait for them to get out and be on their own” would be the lament I would most often hear. The parent, mostly moms, would go on to say they were tired of the stress and would welcome the peace that would return with their kids’ departure.

I realize most seniors in high school are antsy and anxious to set off on their own path. Typically the summer after graduation is filled with restlessness which impacts everyone living within 50 feet. Thus, it is natural for the tension to be higher and the longing for relief to come. Unfortunately though, many parents get a permanent case of the “It’s Over” Syndrome. They have learned to enjoy their life without their offspring being around and aren’t too thrilled about having their new routine and life interrupted.

Typically we don’t mean any harm by our new-found freedom. However, if we are not careful, we can send the wrong message and do harm to our adult children….Keep Reading the Parenting Adult Children Newsletter

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1 comment

Crystal June 4, 2010 - 12:41 pm

Great artical. I agree with it with all my heart. I have a daughter gone and off at college (even stays during the summer) and a son getting ready to go this fall. I talk to my daughter 2, 3 or more times a day. I never had that with my parents. They were ones to just let go. Thanks for encouraging me and letting me know that maybe I am doing this right.

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