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Talking about loneliness is difficult and uncomfortable, especially as a single woman newly in her fifties. The ache of being alone can feel heavy, especially when our hearts are ready to be loved.
But “alone” isn’t a curse, it’s a classroom.
In the quiet, God teaches us who we are, heals old wounds, and strengthens us so we don’t compromise when someone “almost” right comes along.
The tension of being alone.
Read more: Alone, Almost, and Aligned: Recognizing the Seasons of LoveRecently, I had an encounter that reminded me how easily we can slip into “almost”. I was out of town, caring for a loved one, when I found myself in the grocery store. An attractive (younger) man walked in behind me and struck up some expected, but elongated, pleasantries. We eyed each other as we passed through different aisles. I knew he noticed me, and I noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, but I didn’t know if he noticed me in that way.
Right when I thought I had imagined the encounter to be more than it was, he walked up and asked if I was single. I’ll admit, I had secretly hoped he would approach me. When he did, I was excited and flattered. There was a part of me that thought, “Maybe this is what I’ve been missing and waiting for: the spark, the attention, the pursuit.”
In that moment, I felt a part of my feminine energy reawaken. It felt good, especially after weeks of carrying heavy responsibilities. It’s not like I was looking for my husband; after all, I didn’t even live there. The whole reason I was in town in the first place was to be a caretaker, not a bachelorette.
Still, I felt giddy. But when we texted later that day and I pressed for clarity, I discovered he wasn’t truly free. That’s when the tug-of-war began in my heart: between doing what felt good because I was lonely, and doing what I knew was right because ultimately, I deserve more.
That’s the danger of almost.
“Almost men” can be charming. They can be bold. They can make you feel alive in ways you’ve been longing for. But they’re not available in the ways that matter most.
Almost leaves you conflicted: pulled between temporary comfort and long-term calling. And if you’re not careful, almost can derail your hope for alignment.
Which brings us to aligned.
Alignment is when desire meets devotion, when pursuit meets presence, when faith meets freedom.
Alignment doesn’t mean you’ve found someone perfect, but it does mean you’ve found someone walking in the same direction, with the same surrendered heart. Aligned love doesn’t pull you into compromise; it lifts you toward Christ.
Navigating the Seasons of Love
I’ve lived through each of these seasons.
I’ve felt the loneliness of “alone”, the thrill and heartbreak of “almost”, and I’m still holding hope for “aligned”.
But I know now that God doesn’t waste any step.
Alone teaches us strength.
Almost teaches us discernment.
And alignment will teach us love the way God intended.
So if you find yourself alone, lean in.
If you’re tempted by an almost, step back.
And if you’re waiting for alignment, don’t lose hope.
The Author of your story knows the difference, and He is faithful to finish what He’s begun in you.
Alone Almost Aligned: Definitions in Light of Relationships
- Alone: A season where your heart longs for companionship, but you are walking solo. This isn’t punishment, but preparation, a sacred space where God refines your desires, strengthens your standards, and reminds you that you are already fully loved.
- Almost: The counterfeit connections that stir excitement but can’t carry the weight of covenant. “Almost” men may pursue you boldly, but they aren’t fully available…emotionally, spiritually, or legally. These relationships feel tempting because they brush against your desires, but they ultimately leave you unsettled.
- Aligned: The place where your values, faith, and desires meet in harmony with someone who is fully free and present. Alignment doesn’t mean perfection; it means direction. It’s two whole people, walking in step with God, ready to build something lasting together.
So, where do you find yourself today? No matter what stage you’re in—alone, almost, or aligned—remember this: God doesn’t waste a single step. Each one is important in writing your final story.
