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As I stood and looked at myself in the mirror this evening, sniffly, puffy and red-eyed from allergy-driven sneezing all day, I asked Jesus an equally strange, yet important question…
“Can I call you Jessi?”
He said sure.
Before brushing my teeth, I’d apologized for something trivial to him in my head. To which He quickly responded, “That’s OK.”
Since I’d received such an immediate yet normal response, I suddenly felt closer to my Saviour.
I’ve called on the name of Jesus thousands of times before, drawing on its power. Yet tonight, I didn’t need power; I needed a friend.
I give all my favorite friends nicknames, so why not Jesus?
I continued on to brushing my teeth and asking more mundane questions, like what church service He thought we should go to tomorrow and where the kids and I should eat afterwards, since, according to Kariss, “We always eat out on Sundays”.
It’s true. It’s become our thing (though I imagine eating out after church on Sunday is a lot of people’s ‘thing’).
You know what He said?
“Whenever and wherever you’d like.”
While vague, it was somehow still empowering. Because I heard Him.
He wasn’t telling me what to do; He was simply telling me He was there.
Some of my best friends (you know the ones – the only ones you trust with the deepest regions of your heart) infuriate me by not telling me what to do when things go wrong. Yet, it’s their lack of direction and abundance of love that still somehow catapults me into the right direction.
Jessi did the same thing for me tonight.
Instead of coddling me, He equipped me.
It made me realize I don’t have to have all the answers, but instead need to be willing to admit I don’t have any of the answers.
But He does.
So either I’m losing my mind or gaining clarity.
Either way, I like it.